What should I do or say when she says, ‘I have a boyfriend’?
We don’t all wear our relationship statuses on our sleeves , so it takes a little guesswork and more conversations to figure out if the person we’re talking to is already taken.
For some girls , it’ s hard to outright say no to a guy without making him even more adamant to pursue her (thanks for that , unrealistic rom- coms ). So for them , the best response would be to say that she has a boyfriend in the hope that the guy would back off .
So when you’ re talking to a girl and she tells you that she has a boyfriend , these responses might help .
When you really just want to be friends
In this scenario , you’ re genuinely no interested in romantically pursuing her :
“Okay , that ’ s cool . ” When you want to be friends (genuine friends !) with a girl, it shouldn ’ t matter if she has a boyfriend or not. It ’ s not like you’ re trying to take his place , right? So when she tells you that she has a boyfriend , play it cool and still try to pursue a friendship with her . But remember , if she says this in a defensive way , it’ s best to clarify that you’ re not hitting on her so that she knows that you have no intentions of taking her away from her boyfriend .
“Awesome. I have a girlfriend too !”
Ease her mind by telling her that you have a girlfriend . This might just be enough to clarify to her that you have no intentions of pursuing anything romantic with her . However , make sure that you make it obvious that you love your girlfriend by casually mentioning her in future conversations too. Some girls might take this response to mean that you’ re mentioning your girlfriend to make it seem like you’ re on the same boat if you do decide to cheat with each other.
“Oh , say hi to him for me . ” Make her feel at ease that you’ re not interested in her that way by directly acknowledging the presence of a boyfriend in her life . This response could be enough to ease her mind and make her realize that you’ re not hitting on her in any way . Who knows , you might even suddenly become good friends with her guy !
“I ’ m not trying to hit on you . ” For many women , saying “I have a boyfriend” is an indirect way of saying “I know you’ re interested in me , but I ’ m not interested . ” In other cases , it’ s an ego- boosting move that makes her feel good when she has the option to reject a guy . To clear the air between you, make it clear that you’ re not hitting on her . To further reinforce this , make sure you mention exactly why you ’ re talking to her such as needing her participation in a group project or just talking to her because you’ re in the same class.
When you want to be more than friends
This is what you say when you ’ re into a girl and she tells you that she has a boyfriend:
“Oh , sorry about that . I thought you were single. ” Don’ t push the subject when a girl says she has a boyfriend . For many women , saying no isn ’ t convincing enough , especially when guys try to insist on buying her a drink . Her best bet is often to say that she has a boyfriend so that guys would just leave her alone. If you genuinely thought she was single , apologize and tell her that you thought she was single . This might help clear any future awkwardness between you two.
“Hmmm. How serious are you guys?”
If you have no qualms about breaking up a seemingly happy couple, this is what you can say . However , be prepared for a response along the lines of “leave me alone!” This response gets you a 50 / 50 chance of getting the girl because she might genuinely be willing to have a dalliance with you or she might think you’ re an immoral creep who can ’ t take a hint.
“I ’ ll leave you to it for now . But I hope you remember me when you ’re single. ” When you realize that there ’ s nothing you can do for now , you can always mention that you’ re willing to wait around for her . Who knows , she might see this is a good thing because it shows how patient you are . Just remember not wait around for her like some sort of creep! Genuinely wait for her while you can , but don ’ t go asking for updates every week on whether or not they ’ ve broken up !
“I don’ t mind. ” Now this is a response that takes guts! When you genuinely don’ t care that she has a guy and you think she might consider cheating , this response could prove to be effective. On the other hand , it’ s also very likely that she won ’ t take kindly to your response , and thus ignore you. This would lessen your chances of ever getting with her !
Never be caught off- guard when she says she has a boyfriend by remembering these responses.