Ways to Tolerate People You Don’t Like

In a perfect world, each person we interact with would be nice, kind, considerate, mindful, generous, and more. They would get our jokes and we would get theirs. We would all thrive in a convivial atmosphere where no one was ever cross, upset, or maligned.

However, we don’t live in a perfect world. Some people drive us crazy, and we (admittedly) drive a few mad as well. Those we dislike are inconsiderate, rushed, malign our character, question our motives, or just don’t get our jokes at all — but expect us to laugh at all theirs.

You might wonder whether it is possible to be fair to someone who ruffles you all the time, or someone you’d rather avoid eating lunch with. You might wonder if you should learn to like every person you meet.

That’s why smart people make the most out of people they don’t like. Here’s how they do it.

1. Accept their point of view

Just because you do not agree with their point of view does not mean that you are right too. Spending hours proving they wrong is not only a waste of time and effort but also a self-destructive habit.

We are all different. The more people, the more opinions. Even if you do not support their point of view, just accept it. You do not show your weakness. You show your high level of intelligence.

2. Realize that everyone is difficult in their own way

If you have trouble interacting with a certain person, think about someone who has trouble interacting with you either. Disagreements, conflicts, and disputes are the results of differences in values.

You may not understand the person you do not like, but it does not mean they are as bad as you think. It means that both of you are difficult in your own ways. You have different opinions, values, and beliefs that prevent two of you from getting along with each other.

3. Do not set too high expectations about them

This usually happens in love relationships, but it turns out we face the same problem in our everyday lives. If you have no idea how to deal with people you literally hate, start with yourself. Do you expect them to behave, think and speak the way you would? Do you feel disappointed and irritated when they do the things you would never do?

Remember they are not you. Every person has the choice to live the life as they wish and no one has the right to disagreee. Stop setting too high expectations about those you do not like. Just accept them the way the are. Avoid discussing the topics you know will make you angry.

Whether it is your family member, coworker or neighbor, you can’t just say goodbye to them. Cultivating a better attitude about them is a perfect way out. Sometimes it is okay to give in unless it affects your self-esteem.

4. Let them know how you feel

Although it is better to remain silent in complicated situations, speaking up is essential too. People that you do not like should know that their communication style, behavior or manners make you feel undervalued and disrespected, and affect your productivity level.

Be kind and polite. Do not respond when you are angry or stressed. Take a few minutes to calm down and clear your mind from insulting words and negative thoughts. If you are rude to them, they will be rude to you too. The problem will never be solved then.

5. Focus on your life

Since you have no power to change the person, just stop focusing on the way they live their life. You have your own life that you need to improve all the time. You have you owns flaws, failures, wins, and problems. Focus on them.

Instead of thinking about the annoying habits that person possesses, focus on why you are behaving the way you are. When you are busy with your own life, you do not notice others. It is a much better way to deal with those you hate than just ignoring them.

Oftentimes, we have no choice when it comes to the people we have to interact with on a daily basis. It is all about your attitude, not them. Keep your distance from people who make you feel angry or depressed. It does not mean ignoring them, though.

Just aim to communicate with them, for instance, 30 minutes a day, and no more. Most importantly, imagine how people who do not like you tolerate you and it would be easier for you to handle those you hate. How do you tolerate people who bother you?